Agathe
Have you spent years studying another language, but don’t feel confident enough to even practice speaking it?
I did, too.
I studied French for 15 years. I majored in it at university. I could read 14th-century literature, translate poems and write essays citing dense philosophical texts.
Then I arrived in France for the very first time as a 19-year-old college student. I didn’t understand anyone and I didn’t try to speak to any real French people. What if they laughed?
I became shy and antisocial. I avoided speaking to anyone but my English-speaking classmates. Then one evening, we had to go to a social event. The teachers forced us to make small multi-national groups including one French speaker.
I was extremely nervous. I was sure no French person could understand me and worried she might even laugh at me in front of my classmates. But I had no choice, it was part of my grade.
Then I met Agathe. She was our group’s French speaker. She was incredibly friendly and kind. To my surprise, I understood her and she understood me, despite my strong American accent. That’s all it took; if Agathe understood me, maybe other people would as well.
The next day I tried speaking to the cashier at the supermarket. Shockingly, she didn’t laugh at me, so later that day I ordered a coffee in French. The waiter didn’t laugh either (though he kindly corrected me on the gender of “café”). That experience gave me the confidence to do something I am unlikely to do even in English- ask a stranger for directions. I stopped a woman on the street and nervously asked “Excusez-moi, où est la bibliothèque?” I understood her excellent directions to the library with ease. That was the moment I felt I could actually “speak some French.”
Whether or not she knew it, Agathe gave me one of the greatest gifts I had ever received- her patience. Thanks to her friendly and kind attitude, I developed the confidence to communicate in a language that wasn’t my own. I have never forgotten her patience, and I’ve always tried to replicate it as I’ve become a language trainer myself.
If you worry so much about embarrassing yourself in English that you prefer to stay silent, I understand. Feeling vulnerable is normal when we’re learning something new. After all, we are intelligent and competent people, we just need a chance to build up our confidence with practice.
Keep looking for a friendly, patient speaking partner, like Agathe, who can help you build that confidence. One small interaction can make all the difference.
Tell me in the comments. How do you feel when you speak another language?